Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Alt-Left Universe News: President-Elect Sanders Proposes US Musical Ambassador To The United Nations

In this news release from an imaginary alternate universe, Bernie Sanders's slogan, "An Ancient Future to Believe In," leads to a proposal to employ the world music group Ancient Future in international conflicts.

WASHINGTON (Ancient Future Press). President-elect Bernie Sanders today announced his intention to create a new cabinet-level position: United States Musical Ambassador to the United Nations.

A Sanders Transition Team internal memo marked as "for discussion purposes only" has been obtained which states that the idea came to Sanders after hearing some music by the band Ancient Future, the first and longest running musical organization dedicated exclusively to the mission of creating world fusion music. The memo states that in cases of international conflict, it will be the duty of the USMAUN to employ Ancient Future to facilitate jam sessions between musicians from the countries involved.

The Senate confirmation process can begin when Congress convenes on Jan. 3, two weeks before Sanders's inauguration on Jan. 20, 2017. Due to the new Green/Democratic coalition majority in the Senate that was swept in on Sanders's coattails, it is widely believed that Ancient Future's upcoming anniversary concert is likely to become a celebration of more than just the band's 38 years of cross-cultural collaboration.

Exactly 38 years after their first concert, Ancient Future will perform in Berkeley, California as part of the Trinity Chamber Concert Series. Blending ancient world music traditions from fiery flamenco to resonant raga with the contemporary colors of jazz and rock, this variation of the world fusion group features world guitar pioneer Matthew Montfort, renowned Indian tabla virtuoso Vishal Nagar, and santurist Mariah Parker.

The concert is at 8 PM, Feb. 11, 2017, at the Trinity Chapel at 2320 Dana St. Admission is $20 general, or $15 senior/disabled/student. No one will be turned away for lack of funds, but with the new Guaranteed Income Act that is expected to pass in Sanders's first week in office, funds for the concert shouldn't be a problem for anyone.

With President-elect Sanders's proposed new duties for Ancient Future at the United Nations, reservations are strongly encouraged for those who want to be part of what could be an historic celebration for world fusion music. Call 510-778-1719 or email for reservations.

(Read full alt-left universe news release in honor of the current trend towards fact-check-free news:

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